Marriage is good for your health – except when it isn’t

My first, perhaps superficial, reaction to yet another report claiming that marriage is good for your health – by the Aston Medical School in Birmingham, saying marriage helps to survive diabetes, high blood pressure and strokes – was, why does everything have to be measured in health terms? Try proposing to someone on the grounds of the wellness benefits and see how that goes down.

My second reaction is that there is a big difference between a marriage and a happy marriage. Other studies have shown that a stressful marriage can increase the risk of heart attacks and strokes. My final reaction was, what is a happy marriage? Because it’s misguided to divide marriages into happy or unhappy. “Happy marriage” has a fairytale ring, implying that after the nuptials are completed, every day will be the first day of spring. No one but an idiot believes this. It’s a very wide spectrum from happy to unhappy.

But why take a risk and march down the aisle? One possible answer might be the accrual of meaning. Marriage is a kind of meaning, even if painful – like a job you don’t much like but would be lost without. Even to argue with someone is an act of asserting meaning.

Meaning is also bestowed through belonging. I remember telling a married friend that I, too, was getting married, and he was delighted, almost unnaturally so. I asked him why he was bowled over, and he said it was because I was “joining the club”. This gave me the creeps – I had no desire to join any club, not on a conscious level, anyway.

Which brings me to another point. Once a purely practical arrangement, marriage has become an arena in which desires and needs, conscious and unconscious, are played out. The unconscious part is crucial because we don’t know what we’re doing half the time. Who hasn’t walked out of a heated exchange thinking: “I don’t know why I said/did that.” Only too often, marriage is the blind leading the blind.

Which isn’t to say marriages that are broadly happy don’t exist – although it is hard to work out which ones they are, as the public face of marriage is a theatre of status, because if a marriage doesn’t “work”, it is deemed to have failed, and who wants to fail in the eyes of others? So people assiduously conceal the faultlines in their relationship for public consumption. Married people are consummate PRs.

My eldest daughter, Jean, now 23 – shaped, herself, by her parents’ divorce – has an interesting if cynical take on marriage. She says it takes a “certain emotional ignorance to successfully get through a marriage – or a supreme level of tolerance. Only nice, boring people have successful marriages.”

There may be an element of rationalisation in her view, compensation for the fact that she had to suffer the pain of a broken family. Yet I can’t help but think there is something in it – perhaps because it emotionally reassures me, too.

On her analysis, a marriage can’t make you happy and, if the wrong kind of temperaments are involved, can’t be redeemed by effort. Rather, if you are two happy, even-tempered, reasonable people in the first place, your marriage is likely to have much the same quality. And I would probably run a mile from a happy, even-tempered, reasonable person, as I would think there was something seriously wrong with them.

On this reading, marriage can’t really do anything for you. It can’t keep you healthy or make you happy. It can give you meaning, but sometimes at a very high price. It isn’t a proof of love – but more like a boast. So why get married? That one, I’m still trying to work out.

Japanese men and women 'giving up dating and marrying friends'

The Japanese sex problem has become so desperate that its young population are giving up on dating and are just marrying their friends.

A Government survey found 69 per cent of Japanese men and 59 per cent of Japanese women do not have a romantic partner.

One Japanese aggregator website has since been awash with stories of how people have simply got married to life-long friends.

The country has one of the lowest birth rates in the world, with just 8.4 children being born per 1,000 inhabitants over the last five years.

Its population of 127m people is predicted to decrease to 87m by 2060.

The survey, carried out by the country’s National Institute of Population and Social Security Research, also reported that about 80 per cent of unmarried Japanese want to get married.

In recent weeks, people have posted stories to the aggregator website Matome Naver, telling how in one case, a colleague married their friend of 10 years.

The trend has been coined “Kousai zero Nichikon”: roughly translated as “marrying without dating”.

Japanese actress Maki Horikita married co-star Koji Yamamoto in 2015 after just a month of dating.

A column in the Joshi Spa! Magazine last month compared hunting for a marriage partner with suicide.

There is no real evidence that the kousai zero nichikon trend is taking the far eastern islands by storm.

But it draws parallels with Japan’s now mostly defunct omiai arranged marriage tradition, in which parents suggested partners for their adult children.

After the sexual partners survey was released earlier this year, columnist and sociologist Maki Fukasawa criticised the media’s use of his own term to describe the sex problem: “Herbivore men”.

How to get snapped by a street style photographer

Getting spotted by street style photographers is, for fashion obsessives at least, the ultimate pat on the back - but it’s by no means an easy feat.

Street style has established itself as a legitimate event outside most Fashion Week venues around the world, but what exactly are these photographers looking for?

Speaking to GQ, Jonathan Daniel Price - the man behind menswear style and fashion blog GarçonJon and award winning street style photographer – reveals what it is that catches his eye.

Fancy getting papped next Fashion Week? Then take heed of Jon's street style etiquette tips.

Don’t dress to please others

"If I think about what my eyes are naturally drawn to, it’s clearly someone who is dressing for themselves," he said.

He says he is drawn to people who feel confident in what they're wearing, in authentic outfits that they'd usually wear.

"During Fashion Week, people who are obviously dressed in something they wouldn’t usually wear look instantly forced and uncomfortable. It’s obvious in the way you carry yourself."

He said a sure sign of this is whether you're making eye contact with people and look relaxed.

Consider your setting

Either fit in, or really, really stand out.

"Harmonising setting and style can create interesting matches," he said. A classic and simple outfit in a minimalist and clean Copenhagen-style setting will match well.

However, if someone is wearing couture while walking past some rubbish trucks, that's so extreme that he'll be up for shooting it.

Wear in your shoes

"I look for shoes that have been worn in - like boots with paint splattered on them that look like your dad gave them to you and they’ve been put to good use."

Get your trousers tailored

Too many wannabe fashionistas are screwing up when it comes to trousers.

"The most common fashion faux-pas, and the easiest one to correct, is the length of your trousers. I see guys in nice suits, expensive or cheap, and they haven’t had the trousers tailored to the length of their legs."

It costs a few pounds at a local tailor to fix, so there's no excuse.

Size up your jacket

If you can't lift your hands above your head you've got a problem.

"With jackets, everyone buys them too small. It’s like the trend of the last the ten years and it’s awful."

He said rules can be broken, but only if you know how to do it properly.

"For example, the shoulder of the jacket has to come off the edge of your shoulder. You can’t have the seam sitting on the shoulder, as it gives a roundedness to the arm hole."

Don’t follow trends

If you're following the crowds, the street style photographers aren't going to follow you.

"I don’t tend to photograph anyone who looks like they’re following a really obvious trend that shows they’re interested in fashion for fashion’s sake."

Instead, he wants to photograph "a classic piece that will last you".

Wear bold bottoms

"A wider legged pair of trousers or higher waisted trousers look amazing. British men aren’t afraid to try something new. They’re adventurous. And that comes across in the music culture we have here. They love finding new music and that inspires their style."

The Death of The Logo Handbag: How Minimalism Quietly Nudged Out Shouty Branding

The logo 'It' bag is officially dead.

In today’s fashion circles the once-trendy accessory just doesn’t carry the same weight that it used to. The need for loud, shouty branding is flailing in the midst of a sea change.

But don’t just take our word for it, according to a recent report by market research group NPD a third of handbags bought by US customers in the last year have been quiet, discreet, no-logo carryalls.

Unsurprisingly, those over the age of 50 are the most unobtrusive consumers with 40 per cent opting for no-logo bags - but this isn’t a trend reserved solely for the more mature dresser.

Even Generation Z, a cast of consumers in their late teens and early 20s fixated on big branding are on board too, with their no-logo buying increasing by eight per cent.

“Consumers are becoming less focused on image and more focused on individuality – especially the younger generations,” said Marshal Cohen, chief industry analyst at The NPD Group.

“While the cachet of designer logos is still relevant for many, the days of consumers looking to be a part of a designer or brand movement are waning in favour of their desire to find the style and function unique to their personality and lifestyle.”

In the 90s, logos were just as important, if not more important, than the clothes themselves and you had to decide which brands you were going to commit to. Maximalism reached fever pitch.

So what should we buying instead? Thanks in no small part to the success of indie brand Mansur Gavriel, whose pared-down bucket bag fired up the masses, brands like Michael Kors and Coach have cut back on their logo heavy handbags.

Instead, subtlety and a discreet, modern take on brand classics dominates. For Michael Kors, the Gracie is the most recent celebrity favourite, while the Mercer offers a chic take on the satchel.

Also going big with bags that promise to stand the test of time is Coach, who have just released Coach Icons; an installment of three key styles that have been reimagined from the archives to celebrate their 75th anniversary.

The Duffle, Saddle Bag and Dinky offer functionality and super-subtle details that give them an enduring appeal. What’s more, they tend to come at a relatively attainable price, not bargain bucket of course but they’re in general far cheaper than their heavily embroidered counterparts.

It’s refreshing to see the fashion cycle turn towards a trend that’s less about status and more about personal style. The reign of the logo handbag looks to be ending but these new iterations, while less commercial, look set to be just as popular among the fashion forward.

London’s Regent Street Hosts Series of Fashion Events in September

CONSUMER EVENT: London’s Regent Street, who has dubbed September as Fashion and Design Month will host a series of events to mark the occasion.

Fashion illustrator Clym Evernden will be out and about on Regent Street sketching shoppers on Saturday. Evernden who has worked with Louis Vuitton, Net-a-porter and Moët Hennessy, will be on the hunt for London’s best dressed in stores including Karl Lagerfeld, Anthropologie and Kate Spade and will draw 10-minute sketches that will be sent to shoppers within a month.

Regent Street has partnered up with the Royal Institute of British Architects again for its RIBA Windows Project, which commissions RIBA architects with retailers on store window installations. This edition, the project will include window installations for companies including Liberty, Kiehl’s, Seven For All Mankind and Uniqlo.

Regent Street will also host a range of free talks at Hotel Café Royal from fashion industry names such as Amanda Wakeley, Henry Holland, Zandra Rhodes and Gary Card. Holland and Frieda Gormley will speak on the history of print in fashion while Rhodes discusses her life in fashion. Card and Lee Lapthorne will speak about designing the sets of runway shows and Wakeley and Kathryn Parsons will talk about technology in fashion.

In addition, Regent Street will host a “Do It All Denim” day on Sept. 24, where shoppers can buy a pair of jeans and create a bespoke style from participating stores including Guess and Uniqlo and will receive a consultation with guest designers including Ashley Williams, Lindsay McKean from Cats Brothers, Clio Peppiatt and Phiney Pet.

“London Fashion Week and London Design Week are incredibly important to London, but often offer ‘industry-only’ events,” head of the Regent Street Portfolio David Shaw told WWD. “As Regent Street is home to flagship stores of world-class brands, we want to celebrate all things fashion and design creating experiences for our customers to enjoy, which is why we have curated this unique month of activity. Fashion & Design Month begins with our showpiece RIBA Regent Street Windows Project, now in its seventh year of partnering architects with retailers to create stand-out window displays.”

“For FDM 2016, we are working with many talented individuals across a variety of events, combining creative talent with our established stores. It is a wonderful opportunity to bring new, intelligent concepts to the street for the enjoyment of all.”

This is the second edition of Fashion and Design Month on Regent Street. The event runs until Sept. 30.

What Is London Fashion Week And Can You Get Tickets

What is London Fashion Week, exactly?

London Fashion Week spring/summer 2017 is fast approaching. One of the most exciting times of the year in the fashion calendar, fashion journalists, buyers, press and bloggers assemble to see the exciting new collections from top brands from Burberry to Alexander McQueen, discover changing trends and scout out brilliant new designer labels. This 5-day showcase kicks off on September 16th and runs until September 20th.

What does London Fashion Week mean for you?

Armed with this information, you’ve panic dry-cleaned your best outfit and learnt your Instagram filters inside out, so now what? If you don’t work in the fashion industry, LFW can seem like an elusive occasion. For some, its bi-annual existence is obvious only by virtue of the curiously clad individuals who flock to London’s Soho in a flurry of fabric.

If you neither move nor shake in the industry, it’s exceptionally tough to get into the shows (unless you have a *fashion blog). Despite the fact that fashion month is becoming increasingly inclusive – last September French fashion house Givenchy offered 820 free tickets to the public to watch its spring/summer 2016 show in New York, while young French designer Simon Porte Jacquemus offered 40 members of the public the opportunity to attend his Paris Fashion Week show, simply by entering their email address into a prize draw on his website – if you don’t work in fashion or have your own blog, there are many other ways to get involved in the shows, activities and celebrity-spotting taking place across the city that don’t involve ever having to use the line ‘Don’t you know who I am?’

You can also watch the shows rooftop-cinema style

Last season the British Fashion Council teamed up with Ocean Outdoor – who specialise in large-format digital billboards – to stream show footage at 60 outdoor locations across the UK including Birmingham, Edinburgh and Manchester. They’ll be doing this again this season but the details are all still hush-hush for now. Check our the official LFW digital schedule too, as some shows can be streamed live from the comfort of your own couch.

Or hit up Regent Street

Regent Street are getting involved in all the fashion month excitement with a range of activities including: the chance to be sketched by a famous fashion illustrator, attend talks from leading voices in the fashion world (including fashion designers Henry Holland and Amanda Wakeley), and have your purchases made bespoke at a ‘customisation station’ by an up-and-coming designer.

What is London Fashion Weekend?

Following London Fashion Week’s 5 days of shows and splashy parties, an open-to-the-public series of events called London Fashion Weekend kicks off and yes, you can buy tickets. What does it entail? As well as trend and career talks from industry experts (this season’s style icons and fashion insiders include chef Laura Jackson, TV presenter George Lamb, stylist Martha Ward and fashion editor Alice Casely-Hayford), intimate Q&A interviews, panel discussions with industry experts, and catwalk shows, you can shop over 150 fashion editor approved brands. So far, the designer catwalk shows you can get a front row seat at include Preen, J. JS Lee and Sibling. Tickets start at £20 for the basic experience package, and reach up to £200 for a ‘premium’ package.

Lisa Loeb loves the revival of '90s music, but not its fashion

(CNN) - The '90s will always hold a special place in Lisa Loeb's heart.

"I'm a very sentimental person," Loeb told CNN. "I love thinking about the past. I have very clear memories, but I also like to keep moving forward."

Loeb's 1995 hit "Stay" was the heartbreak anthem for teens at the time. She returned to the stage to sing that song and more on Tuesday during a throwback concert sponsored by Crystal Pepsi. En Vogue, Biz Markie and Salt N Pepa also headlined the event.

"I didn't feel comfortable doing something lumped in with the '90s," Loeb said. "But I finally do feel comfortable. [The audience] can take a lot away, have their memories, and it's also very current too."

Loeb said performing with the other artists who also rose to fame in the '90s has widened her circle of friends. "Like Coolio, he's in my phone and he's my friend. Those are cool friends to have in your phone."

While she's enjoyed the recent revival of '90s music, Loeb said she doesn't want to revisit the fashion trends of that decade.

"I don't want mustard yellow mock turtle necks to come back although, they kind of are," she said. "The oversized leather jacket! Someone just posted a pic of me with it on Facebook. Ugh! And wearing pajamas under them from Army Navy, or a bustier with cut off shorts. No."

But the smart phone free culture of the '90s, Loeb loved. "I miss -- from the earlier '90s -- when there were no cell phones. There was just a little bit of a slower pace and less input. More room for creativity and pondering life. I think we are very distracted in this new world and we want to capture everything."